Hello beautiful people,

In a world that champions the hustle and bustle of constant productivity and the pursuit of perfection, the idea of self-compassion might seem a bit, well, soft. Yet, it’s a game-changer for personal growth and happiness. Think of self-compassion as treating yourself like a dear friend who’s having a rough day. It’s about acknowledging that everyone messes up and that’s perfectly fine. By embracing a more compassionate attitude towards yourself, you can seriously turn your life around in delightful ways.

What Exactly is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion isn’t just about being nice to yourself. It’s got three snazzy components:

1. Self-Kindness: Giving yourself a warm hug (figuratively, of course) when you’re feeling down, rather than beating yourself up.

2. Common Humanity: Realising that everyone has their ups and downs. You’re not the only one who faces challenges, so give yourself a break.

3. Mindfulness: Keeping a balanced view of your emotions without getting swept away by them. It’s about noticing your thoughts and feelings without turning them into a melodrama.

The Sparkling Benefits of Self-Compassion

Practising self-compassion isn’t just about feeling warm and fuzzy inside; it’s got some fantastic benefits:

• Less Stress and Anxiety: Self-compassion helps you chill out and adopt a more relaxed attitude towards life’s little hiccups.

• Emotional Well-Being: By being your own cheerleader, you can boost your happiness levels and feel more content with life.

• Bouncing Back Better: Self-compassion gives you the emotional support to handle life’s curveballs and come back stronger.

• Better Relationships: When you’re kinder to yourself, it’s easier to extend that kindness to others, leading to healthier and more enjoyable relationships.

Fun Ways to Practise Self-Compassion

Getting into the groove of self-compassion takes a bit of practice, but it’s well worth the effort. Here are some fun and practical tips to get you started:

1. Be Your Own Best Mate

Start by treating yourself with the same kindness you’d show your best mate. Instead of being harsh or critical, give yourself a pep talk. Made a blunder at work? Instead of thinking, “I’m such a dunce,” say, “Everyone has off days. I’ll get it right next time.”

2. Indulge in Some ‘Me Time’

Taking time for yourself is crucial for self-compassion. Dive into activities you love and that help you unwind. Set aside time to read a good book, take a leisurely stroll in the park, or simply relax with a cuppa. These little moments of joy can recharge your batteries and remind you that you’re worth the effort.

3. Embrace Your Quirks and Flaws

Perfection is overrated and frankly, a bit boring. Embrace your quirks and accept that everyone has flaws. When you slip up, don’t dwell on it. Think about what you’ve learnt and how you can improve. Life’s too short to sweat the small stuff.

4. Get Mindful and Chill

Mindfulness is all about staying in the moment and appreciating the here and now. It helps you tune into your needs and respond to yourself with kindness. Try simple mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing, or even mindful eating. Enjoying a biscuit? Savour every crumb.

5. Talk to Yourself Like You’d Talk to a Friend

Keep an ear out for your inner dialogue. Swap out negative self-talk for words that lift you up. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m useless,” challenge it with, “I’m doing my best, and that’s pretty awesome.”

6. Connect with Others

Building connections with others reminds you that you’re not alone in your struggles. Share your experiences with friends or join a group where you can swap stories and realise that everyone has their off days. You’re part of a big, messy, wonderful human family.

Transform Your Life with a Dash of Self-Compassion

The journey to self-compassion isn’t always a breeze, but it’s full of delightful surprises. By being kinder to yourself, you can transform your life in ways you never imagined. Self-compassion can help you handle life’s challenges with a bit more grace, strengthen your relationships, and lead to a happier, more fulfilling existence.

Remember, self-compassion isn’t about being selfish or wallowing in self-pity. It’s about recognising your worth and treating yourself with the kindness you deserve. So, take a deep breath, cut yourself some slack, and start sprinkling a little self-compassion into your life today. You might just find that it’s the secret ingredient to a happier, more balanced you. Cheers to that!

xoxo,

Nel

Hello beautiful people,

Welcome to Nel’s column!

First of all, thank you for clicking on the first ever post of this new column  – a billion bonus points for you if you read it till the end!

I have been thinking about what would be the perfect topic for my first post and the answer came quite easily.

Nel’s column is part of this little corner on the internet that I created and called “Our Happy Corner” but what actually is happiness?

Well, like anyone who’s ever wanted to get the definition of a word, I looked it up in the dictionary and – I am not even joking – this is what the entry for happiness read: “The state of being happy.” No shit, Sherlock! Not very useful at all.

Now I could have gone straight to the entry for happy and go from there – though I wouldn’t even be surprised if it would have read something like “the opposite of unhappy” – but instead it made me wonder how I, myself, would define happiness.

And the more I thought about it and the more I struggled with coming up with a general definition that I could suggest to the dictionary people.

When I think about happiness, I see the moments spent with my boyfriend and my rabbit Charlie, I see Books and Sweets and how much I enjoy working on this little corner of the internet, I see a great book with sweet characters and a heartwarming story, I see travelling and discovering a new culture etc.

How do you turn that into a dictionary entry?

On top of that, we are all unique beautiful beings and what makes me happy would not necessarily make you happy and vice versa because we do not have the same interests, desires or aspirations.

For example, I have a few friends who are not too fond of pets so if I were to define happiness as spending time with your furry family members, they would be doomed to a lifetime of unhappiness.

We might not be able to agree on a universal definition of happiness but we all know how it feels when we are happy and, unfortunately, we also know when we are not.

And the reason behind that is because happiness comes from within us. There is no happiness elixir or secret recipe.

Happiness is a feeling in you waiting to be discovered. And you discover it by following your heart and letting go of your fears – because yes, it can be scary to be happy.

Unhappiness can be comforting for some people because that is either what they’ve always known and it has become their comfort zone or because they are scared that if they allow themselves to be happy even for one second, it would feel even more painful when happiness will inevitably be taken away from them.

If this is how you feel, I want you to know that no one can take away your happiness but you, just like you are the only person who can make yourself happy.

Discover what it is that gives you that warm feeling in your stomach and puts a smile on your face and hold on to it. Do more of it, put it in everybody’s face without any guilt, abuse the shit out of it and never let go of that smile.

And then come back here and let me know in the comments what makes you happy! I am so excited to know 🙂

xoxo,

Nel